Whatever Happens
by Setchan-17
Summary: But she knows. Its all her fault. So she watches from afar with a smile on her face and a hand clutching her chest, wishing she never lost her. Chamberlake. Fayana. Girl on girl so dont read if you arent into it ;P


Hello there :) been like years since i last wrotte something and it was in spanish xD so i hope this aint so bad and you guys can enjoy it ;) it came out of nowhere really. I just read such an agsty fanfic that kinda made me wanna writte something out of nowhere xD really i cried for hours -.- naaa not true xD but still! xP ok im rambling so go ahead and read! and enjoy! xd

...

Now and Then

...

She was breaking, it was all falling apart and a painful ache was slowly crawling to her heart. She felt confused, angry, jealous...lost. From the beginning of it all, it was always her and the walls of her room, till those walls actually formed a fortress in herself. No one got in, but...the few ones that did were never let out. Thats one of the reason why she was all by herself now, silence being the only company by her side. How the hell didnt she notice how obviously painful was how she was falling in love with Cassie? How when whenever she came into the picture, her heart skipped a beat and she wouldnt stop smiling like goof? How she had this horrible feeling in her chest and stomach everytime Adam looked at her adoringly? or made her laugh? or made her blush? or made her...fall in love...

More unwelcome tears made its way onto her face, fists clenching and unclenching, hoping to relief in anyway this sickening feeling she got anytime their image as a couple popped into her head.  
The first time they met...oh god shes never going to forget that. She was so struck by her beauty that she couldnt help but voice it out aloud, making her look like a total creep. Feeling like an idiot, she tried treating her like she treated the rest...like crap even thought inside she was dying to get to know her, and she did...and not the friendly way, nope, not at all. She still cant forget that night and doubts she ever will. After a party at Adam's dad's bar, they came stumbling to her house, dont ask why and how come they got so friendly over a few hours, but once they got inside...she just couldnt resist, the urge was too much, so she just did it, she kissed Cassie Blake with all she got and guess what. .back.

Her heart was racing and so was Cassie's, they kissed fiercely, like they couldnt get enough of one another, like lovers who havent seen each other in years and just wanted to be one. And so they did, it was raw but held so much love now that she thinks about it, even for a pair of drunken girls. They ripped their clothes off, but took time to kiss every inch of their partner's body. God she loved those freaking gasps Cassie made everytime she would do something right and not expected, or how she would moan or whimper in frustration by all the teasing, but most of all she loved how those blue eyes looked into her own, like...like, like she loved her. But all was broken in the morning, miss innocence run out first thing yelling at her and telling her it was all her fault by seducing her and being all damn sexy. She chuckled slightly despite her own tears, who the hell tells someone that while trying to blame them for everything? Is like admitting you got the hots for the other person, but its their fault for being fucking hot. Yeah, she knows shes not modest at all but nothing to do, since SHE IS smoking hot.

She rose from her bed and headed outside. No more sulking no way, she was tired of it all, of Cassie going to the arms of emo boy or jake, of being all high and mighty and scolding her by every little stupid thing and more over, she was so fucking tired of Cassie running away everytime,. Everytime you wonder? Yeah, cause apparently the fucking girl despite blaming Faye for all, came back for more and not just one or two times. No, there were so many times they slept together that she lost count, well not really, cause it seems her brain wont let her forget anything Cassie related, but yeah you get the point. And afterwards they somehow started cuddling and going on dates, well for her were dates, but Cassie claimed they were only hanging out, but how can you say that when they stole little kisses every now and then when no one was looking? When they would hold hands under the table or hugged longer than friends do? Way to be in denial, but hey she cant say she wasnt in denial either. Of course after all their encounters she knew she was somehow physically attracted to Cassie, but to realize she's in love with the girl? It was like falling from the 50th floor and still be alive, not that that actually happened to her, so she cant really compare, but yeah, it was like hitting her teeth with a stone or something.

So she told Cassie, stupid decision ever and hence why she is standing outside, silent tears blurring her view as she walked with no destination. Blondie broke her heart, well actually like she ripped it out of her chest and stabbed it all over again and then set it on fire, leaving a hole. She has been struggling since a few weeks about telling her or not and some days ago, 4 days to be exact, she just told her. Cassie was lying on her shoulder after mind blowing sex and she grabbed her face, kissed her softly and whispered it. Next thing she knew, Cassie was picking her clothes pretty fast and rushing out her room, saying sorry all over again, that they couldnt do this anymore and that they would see each other later or something. She couldnt move, just stare after the girl that had her heart in her hand and had gone running out of her house like it was on fire.

This damn week just sucked. Cassie avoided her at all cost, she didnt talk to her or just glance at her, the few times they brushed against another on the halls, she jumped and rushed on her way to wherever she had to get to. And the worst of all was that the girl was all over Adam, hanging onto his arm, laughing at his boring jokes and he was following her like a lost puppy with a grin in his pathetic face.

The time they saw each other and Cassie had to actually talk to her where on the circle's meeting and if she could, she sent Adam to talk to her. How pathetic of now somehow she is standing outside the other girls house. How she got here? She doesnt know, but all she can think about is going inside and see Cassie, tell her if she doesnt want anything serious with her, she doesnt mind, and than even if she doesnt want to stay how they were she can be her damn friend. She feels like begging to not be left behind, being apart from the one you love is a horrible feeling she is learning can rip you into pieces, and shes not willing to go throught that.

She knocks. One. Two. Three times. Nothing happens. She tries again and just when shes about to turn around she hears something crashing inside. She pulls on the hands door and finds it open, carefully stepping inside. She walks quietly around the house, trying to find the source of the sound and Cassie, she is worried something might have happened to her with all that has being going on lately, but inside she just know she just wants a reason to see her and the chance to talk and sort things out. She is like a ninja in the wind, if that makes any sense, when shes making her way towards Cassie's room and to her surprise, shes not alone. There's books everywhere and pieces of clothing scattered all over the floor. Cassie is sitting on her table, while Adam's between her legs kissing her neck, his arms around her waist. Her legs are clasped behind his back, her arms around his neck and her heads thrown back giving him more space. Thankfully enough, he stops thrusting, being the first to spot her. A second later, Cassie lock their gazes together and she can see nothing but regret, sorrow and apologies in those blue eyes.

Numbness. One word is enough to describe all shes feeling. Anger is what comes next. Betrayal isnt left behind. But at the end, all thats left is heartache, hurt, pain, its all the same. Her voice doesnt crack when speaking aloud, making fun of them for being like bunnies and that shes gonna go, cause Adam seriously needs to get laid to loosen up a bit and Cassie's really good at that. And now shes rumbling and they are looking at her like shes crazy, well he is and maybe she is. Cassie is looking at her like not knowing what to do, so she makes a decision for her, shutting up and running away, like she should have the moment she stepped inside.

Crying like crazy now, the only place she thinks shell find solace are the docks, so she heads there. When did it all became like this? She is the school's badass for fucks sakes! Not a stupid whimp! And oh god she felt so nerd right now and she's cracking up out of nowhere. Nothing was funny, but yet again all of it was. Her being in love. Her being in love with Cassie Blake. Them sleeping together. Adam getting the girl. Her being in love with Cassie Blake. A broken heart and a hollow laugh ringing in the air. Damn she was getting crazier everyday. A hand touching her shoulder brought her back to Earth, but not any hand oh she knew. That intoxicating sent and that familiar warm spreading all over her body. She hated how a simple touch had this effect.

Looking back she found her eyes, but made no attempt of turning back. An apology flied from those delicious lips, tears where falling from those eyes and she couldnt understand why. Cassie was trying to say something, but nothing came out of her mouth, it was like watching a gaping fish. Turning around, she looked her all over, from that hot body to those beautiful eyes that held so much pain only god knows why. There were no tears on her eyes nor her cheeks, nor the strenght to be infront of the girl who broke her so she did what she felt was best for both. She smiled. Not a fake smile but neither a big fat smile where you blind everyone. Just a resignated small smile that meant she understood. She wanted her to be happy and if that was with Adam then so let it be, she wouldnt interfere. Turning around, she walked off, sorrowful eyes following her every move without her noting.

...

She spent all the night drinking. No memories, no pain, nothing. Somehow she ended up in Diana's house, all cuddled up against her.

...

The first month that happened at least 10 times, she avoided Cassie like the plague, even thought the girl was constantly trying to get her alone to talk. The 11nd time it happened, Diana kissed her out of nowhere and they ended up having sex. She doesnt remember a thing. She woke up with Diana looking at her while sleeping. Way to freak a girl, had to give her points for that. It was akward she had to say, but neither said anything, just got dressed and went down for breakfast and after a few minutes they were both laughing their asses off at something silly Faye said. The other times she was tipsy, but she couldnt deny her needs and Diana didnt complain once about it.

She was smiling and laughing more often, joking around with Diana with no care in the world, unaware of the pair of jealous eyes watching her from afar. Soon, the Cassie thing was all behind, or she liked to think that. Diana was fun, caring, flirty and more over, she wanted Faye. No need to say it aloud, just look into the girl's eye. They started going out in secret, Faye didnt really want everyone to know, moreover when SHE wasnt even sure she wanted to be in a relationship. Diana on the other side, wanted everyone to know she was hers, but respected Faye, she knew the girl was still heartbroken even if she didnt voice her thoughts or her knowledge.

...

One day, after classes, they all decided to go hang around. Adam and Cassie sat together, his arm around her shoulders and her gaze fixed on Faye and how Diana leaned ever so lightly over her. Melissa and Jake were seated between the couples, chatting happily about some party that was coming soon.

The waitress came after a few minutes, a blonde guy with green eyes and a body to die for. He started taking their orders when his eyes found Diana. He looked at her all over, giving a boyish grin and a wink. Nothing went unnoticed by Faye, who grabbed Diana's hand under the table and squeezed it slightly, making her smile over her jealousy, not that Faye will ever admit it. After a few minutes, he came back with the orders and asked Diana for her number. Next thing the girl knew, Faye was kissing the hell out of her, pulling her closer and leaving everyone with their mouths hanging open.

Satisfaction. The way she felt once she looked to the stupid guy's face. Proud. When she looked at Diana's face and saw a big blush tainting her cheeks and then just...love. She loved the girl, her heart wasnt all over the floor like a few months ago and for so she was grateful. She couldnt say she was over Cassie, cause she was not. It still hurt sometimes when she looked at her and Adam, but now she has this odd sense of...calmness. Of closure. The feeling that something new just bloomed and hell if she was gonna miss this chance. So taking Diana's hand on hers, she dragged her out giggling like an idiot and smirking at the poor waitress who was still dumbfounded.

And for once she felt free. She could love and be loved and she was going to treasure every moment of it. So she took Diana home and for the first time made love.

...

She wished this hadnt happened. It was all her fault. Loving her. Hurting her. Losing her. The pain was unbearable, but she had to struggle. She hated how she moved on and she hated how happy she looked. But most of all, she hated herself for breaking her because of her fears and insecurities. She hated she left the pieces for someone else to pick. And god she hates shes left to watch how they fall in love with each other more everyday.

But she knows. Its all her fault. So she watches from afar with a smile on her face and a hand clutching her chest, wishing she never lost her.

Fin.


End file.
